P.S.

She always murders the poor little earthworms though. I probably should include that. She thinks she's being so loving to it, building it a home- drowning it and suffocating it in the process. She lovingly stretches it and twists it around her finger until it is three times its length. She sings to it and talks to it. Then after a couple days, wonders why it died...

Dog whisperer and worm lover

I love that my daughter is a true dog whisperer. She whispers things into dogs' ears. She really does. And they seem to listen...or maybe the dog treats she gives them has something to do with their listening abilities. Today at lunch she yelled out to our neighbor's dog "Watch me Jax, I'm eating tortellini!" followed by about twenty (and I'm not exaggerating) "Hi Jax" es. Ahh, I can only smile. It really is adorable.

Now she just ran in all excited - a worm dangling from her fingers. She loves earthworms. She really does. I can barely believe it, coming from the girl whose mission when she was one was to go around with Grammy and "get the bugs." I can still see her holding her little water bottle filled with water and Dawn dish soap as she walked around Grammy's house spraying box elders and asian beetles.  And she fears spiders, flies and anything else. Worms aren't true bugs anyways, are they? I'm not an expert so I wouldn't know, but they don't seem to fit into that bug category.

So unpredictable. I love that. She'll always keep you guessing. I like that.

Playing games

I'm coming to the conclusion that ... it really isn't very fun to play games with my child. I never want to win. I always want her to win. And therefore, I always know who will win. Kind of takes the excitment out of it.

Photos

I can't keep up with printing, storing or even organizing our photos. I can never get ahead. I'm always behind. I remember thinking "I'll never have stacks of unsorted photos in boxes like my mom" but alas, the same has happened to me, and worse...hundreds of pictures on our memory cards...so many that I've stopped taking pictures because I don't want to delete any more. I tried storing our pictures on Winkflash and Shutterfly but even with that, I fall behind. I'm starting to think this may be a battle I just can't win.

Time Lapse

It's been awhile! But I'm sure most of you know why...motherhood.

Three things...

1. Why is it that inevitably everytime you leave the drive-thru at McDonalds and start eating your french fries, one always falls down the side of the seat, unreachable...where it then smells the whole car up for the next two weeks and all your friends without kids ask why your car smells so bad when they ride with you somewhere?

2. I love when my daughter decides she needs a WHOLE roll of toilet paper to wipe! I love it even more when she flushes and then I have to run in and get out the plunger.  Yuck.

3. Tonight as she was falling asleep, she kept asking if I could stay in her room forever while she slept. I told her I had to go out in the living room and do homework after she fell asleep to which she said- "I'm going to miss you when you're out there."

So wonderful

I just love watching my daughter. Does that seem weird? I don't know. Sometimes it just hits me that this is my child and she's so wonderful...not to brag or anything. :)

And speaking of first in line...

I just thought of another time when our children get to be first in line...

When we haven't eaten all morning and we're so crabby we can barely speak without yelling, and our stomachs are growling and we feel like we're going to pass out if we don't eat-- yet there sit our children waiting for us to make them a snack or lunch-even though we've probably just made them a snack about 20 mins. ago (that sits uneaten on the table because they didn't like that snack and they want a different one). So we stand there salivating while spreading peanut butter on their bread wondering when it will ever be our turn...

Why does this just seem so unfair? :)

Thank Goodness for...

rear speakers in cars.

First in Line

I love how when you (the parent) are dying to go to the bathroom, if your child has to go, they automatically move to first in line. Then you get to stand there and listen to them going, which makes it a million times worse.

Friendships

So I was reading the blog from my daughter's preschool and on it there was a posting about a wedding the director had just gone to this past summer. The bride and the bridesmaid had met in the director's preschool class back when they were three. Now as I watch my own daughter form friendships in her preschool and Sunday School class...especially with two little girls in particular, I wonder to myself, will this be the same? Will these little girls be the ones my daughter grows up with- the ones she plays dolls with, has sleepovers with, acts silly with, gets in fights with, shares her deepest secrets and sorrows and happiness with...the one she remembers when she thinks back to her own childhood?

It's funny how friendships are what you remember when you think back. Whenever I think of my childhood I can't separate it from the one I spent it with- my cousin. Almost all of my favorite memories are with her in it.

Isn't it so beautiful (and nostalgic) to watch our children make those friendships?  I just love watching her when we get to school every morning or to church, as she spots her best friend, gets a big smile on her face, then yells out her name as she tries getting her coat off as fast as she can so she can go run to her and give her a hug. I love hearing her talk about being with her. And how together they aren't as sad to be without their moms as they would be otherwise.

And it is so unexpected, at least to me, having never had a child who has gone through this stage of making friends before.  What also is unexpected is that I am making new friends too. I used to be the one introducing her to life and now she is starting to introduce me.  Her new friendships are allowing me an opportunity to form new friendships too with the moms, women I otherwise would most likely never have met or known.

Beautiful, that's all I can say.

Habits and Television

I've noticed three things (well more than that actually) about television and my daughter...

1. She bites her fingernails AND her toenails while watching it

2.  She eats better when she's sitting in front of it

3. She gets aggressive and belligerent and combative when anyone makes a move to turn it off

The habits are forming already! I really need to keep the t.v. off but it is so nice to have around on those mornings when she bounces out of bed at 6:30am...when I still want to lay under the flannel sheets just a little while longer...which, by the way is about every morning.

How is it that a television -a nonliving, stationary object- can bring out the worse in people...in three year olds!?!?

Chicken Nuggets, Pizza, and Macaroni and Cheese

Is my daughter going to have a heart attack at 50 because I let her eat only what she wants...which is... see above?  Horrible foods, and that's all she will eat and so we rotate between the three.  One day we'll have chicken nuggets for lunch and mac and cheese for supper, the next day we'll have pizza for lunch and chicken nuggets for supper. I don't know what else to do. I try and offer her other foods but all she'll do is sniff them and push them away. I do get her to take a lick occasionally, if I'm lucky. Will this someday change?Will she all of a sudden expand her horizons and eat things like spinach and peas and tomatoes and barley soup?  I don't know but in the meantime, I hope her arteries hold out.

Playing

How easy is it to not play with your child? I mean, really play...to get down there on the floor and imagine and play like a child? It's really hard for me, I always have something else I want to be doing or something else I am thinking about.  And so often I find myself multi-tasking even when I am playing...like cleaning up my daughter's bedroom while trying to be a dog so she doesn't know I'm not really playing.  But for some reason, I always feel like I'm cheating her on something when I'm not fully there (which happens to be quite a bit).  I feel like I'm not really there with her.  How bad is it that I have to actually force myself to play, really play, with her. I hate that.  Shouldn't you want to forget all the rest of life and be a kid for awhile? Well, I'm working on it. Every day trying to set aside time to do nothing else, to let her room be a mess and not care. And I'm trying to laugh more with her, to be silly and carefree and to let her be silly too, which doesn't come easy either. If anyone has pointers on any of this please let me know.

Random comment

So this is definitely a random comment... my daughter didn't have her shirt on (surprise, surprise, she hates clothes, especially socks). All of a sudden she threw her head back and turned it from side to side, letting her hair wave back and forth against her back...  Do you remember when our hair was long and how that used to feel? Wow, I haven't thought of that feeling in years. Random I know.  It's just weird the things you forget until you have kids.

Stuck

Have you ever noticed how hysterical and panicky children get when you pull their shirt off and it gets stuck for just a few seconds around their head? I don't know what they think is going to happen...do they think they will be stuck like that forever? Do they think their heads are going to come off too? Do they think they will never stare at anything again but cotton? I don't know, but as many times as it happens, they still react in the same way. I guess if I had something stuck around my head I might feel the same?

Oh, and that goes for arms and hands too...you know, when they pull their arms through but it gets stuck at the bottom because the shirt is all bunched up after being taken off inside-out and then washed...

Law of Sleep and Children

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SLEEP AND CHILDREN??? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN WE WANT TO SLEEP IN, OUR CHILDREN WAKE UP EARLY and WHEN WE WAKE UP EARLY, OUR CHILDREN SLEEP IN??? If anyone knows the solution to this please let me know. I'd be most grateful.

Phone calls and Children

Phone calls and children...they just don't seem to be able to work together.

Just right...

Ever wondered why in Goldilocks and the Three Bears the papa and mama bears' porridge was too hot or too cold, never just right? I think I might know why now...

After microwaving my soup three times -trying to get it the right temp- I finally got it just right...but then my daughter decided it was time for her to tell me she didn't want the lunch I gave her and she wanted peaches instead. So up I go (I know, I know) and by the time I got back my soup was just lukewarm again.

Forget it, I'm eating it like it is, it's not worth it. Maybe someday when I'm seventy I'll have soup that's just right, but probably by then I won't have any taste buds anyways.

A Promise

The other day my three year old daughter was embarrassed about something and told me to promise that I wouldn't tell the friends we were on a playdate with. I really wanted to tell to, because it was funny and my friend would totally understand and we'd get a good laugh. But I had to catch myself because I realized that now, even at the age of three, is when I have to start keeping my promises.

Because now, at the age of three, I am being watched.

I am being looked at to keep a promise.

And if I don't keep it and tell what I promised not to, what is that showing her...about me, about her...

What am I gaining by telling? What am I losing?

It seems so harmless but when you think about it, there really is so much at stake.

Listening

You'd think our children would learn to listen...

I tell my daughter not to do something, she does it.
She gets hurt, she cries, she comes to me to comfort her.
She does it all over again the next day.

Ahem, when do our children learn to listen to us?
When do they make the connection in their brains that mom or dad
are telling me this because they don't want me to get hurt...not because they don't want me to have fun???

Ever?

But then I think of myself, my adult self...and know the answer.

I'd really hate to be God and have to put up with billions of people doing this.

Bolt

A child takes off in a department store...in the women's clothing area with all the racks and obstacles that impair vision...is there anything in those five seconds of unknown that can scare and infuriate a parent more? Yesterday my daughter was right by my side than all of a sudden decided to bolt...even though I ran out right after her, I couldn't see her anywhere and she wasn't acknowledging my calls. It would be an understatement to say that I felt fear. A million thoughts and images ran through my mind in those few short moments. I thought I was going to start crying uncontrollably right then and there. Then I see a little body come flying my way. Now I felt anger. It's amazing how quickly the fear can turn to anger...although maybe it is still one and the same...I picked her up and louder than I've ever spoken in a department store told her to "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! EVER!!" It took a while to calm down my beating heart...it's a good thing this doesn't happen very often, not sure how much a parent's heart could handle.

Accidents?

Just wondering...how many potty "accidents" are really accidents?

Crusts and Skins

What's with bread crusts and apple skins? And when do kids learn these aren't likeable?

"We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo...How About You, You, You?"

I love how Raffi's music can hold such a love-hate relationship in my life. I despise his songs for their ability to get stuck in my head at 3am in the morning but I can't NOT play them over and over when my three year old daughter asks because I love to hear her little voice singing. There is something so sweet and melancholy about a child's voice...so innocent. I could listen to Autumn's voice for hours. Maybe it is just a mom thing? Do we ever outgrow the intense joy that comes when hearing our children's laughter or song?

Squirrels and Airplanes and Poop

Okay so am I the only one who marvels at how every squirrel, every airplane and every poop is like the first squirrel, airplane or poop in the eyes of a child? It doesn't matter how many they've seen it, if they see another it is new all over again. They point and jump up and down and run about (okay maybe not with poop) and have to share their excitement with the one closest to them. I just don't get it sometimes. What is it about airplanes and squirrels and poop??

On the name "Ramblings on Motherhood"...

So I like to ramble...about anything and everything. I also have this problem with being unable to shut my brain off. I think a lot. I think too much. It's always been an issue. But if you didn't know me - at least like my husband and parents know me- you wouldn't even know I had this problem. It's not so much that I like to ramble in my talking, it's that I like to ramble in my thinking. And since I am a mother, most of my thinking is about motherhood...hence the title "Ramblings on Motherhood". At random moments I get these thoughts and think hmmm...I should share this, maybe someone else could identify with it, laugh with it because more and more I am realizing just how alike we all are...especially us mothers.