Friendships

So I was reading the blog from my daughter's preschool and on it there was a posting about a wedding the director had just gone to this past summer. The bride and the bridesmaid had met in the director's preschool class back when they were three. Now as I watch my own daughter form friendships in her preschool and Sunday School class...especially with two little girls in particular, I wonder to myself, will this be the same? Will these little girls be the ones my daughter grows up with- the ones she plays dolls with, has sleepovers with, acts silly with, gets in fights with, shares her deepest secrets and sorrows and happiness with...the one she remembers when she thinks back to her own childhood?

It's funny how friendships are what you remember when you think back. Whenever I think of my childhood I can't separate it from the one I spent it with- my cousin. Almost all of my favorite memories are with her in it.

Isn't it so beautiful (and nostalgic) to watch our children make those friendships?  I just love watching her when we get to school every morning or to church, as she spots her best friend, gets a big smile on her face, then yells out her name as she tries getting her coat off as fast as she can so she can go run to her and give her a hug. I love hearing her talk about being with her. And how together they aren't as sad to be without their moms as they would be otherwise.

And it is so unexpected, at least to me, having never had a child who has gone through this stage of making friends before.  What also is unexpected is that I am making new friends too. I used to be the one introducing her to life and now she is starting to introduce me.  Her new friendships are allowing me an opportunity to form new friendships too with the moms, women I otherwise would most likely never have met or known.

Beautiful, that's all I can say.

Habits and Television

I've noticed three things (well more than that actually) about television and my daughter...

1. She bites her fingernails AND her toenails while watching it

2.  She eats better when she's sitting in front of it

3. She gets aggressive and belligerent and combative when anyone makes a move to turn it off

The habits are forming already! I really need to keep the t.v. off but it is so nice to have around on those mornings when she bounces out of bed at 6:30am...when I still want to lay under the flannel sheets just a little while longer...which, by the way is about every morning.

How is it that a television -a nonliving, stationary object- can bring out the worse in people...in three year olds!?!?

Chicken Nuggets, Pizza, and Macaroni and Cheese

Is my daughter going to have a heart attack at 50 because I let her eat only what she wants...which is... see above?  Horrible foods, and that's all she will eat and so we rotate between the three.  One day we'll have chicken nuggets for lunch and mac and cheese for supper, the next day we'll have pizza for lunch and chicken nuggets for supper. I don't know what else to do. I try and offer her other foods but all she'll do is sniff them and push them away. I do get her to take a lick occasionally, if I'm lucky. Will this someday change?Will she all of a sudden expand her horizons and eat things like spinach and peas and tomatoes and barley soup?  I don't know but in the meantime, I hope her arteries hold out.

Playing

How easy is it to not play with your child? I mean, really play...to get down there on the floor and imagine and play like a child? It's really hard for me, I always have something else I want to be doing or something else I am thinking about.  And so often I find myself multi-tasking even when I am playing...like cleaning up my daughter's bedroom while trying to be a dog so she doesn't know I'm not really playing.  But for some reason, I always feel like I'm cheating her on something when I'm not fully there (which happens to be quite a bit).  I feel like I'm not really there with her.  How bad is it that I have to actually force myself to play, really play, with her. I hate that.  Shouldn't you want to forget all the rest of life and be a kid for awhile? Well, I'm working on it. Every day trying to set aside time to do nothing else, to let her room be a mess and not care. And I'm trying to laugh more with her, to be silly and carefree and to let her be silly too, which doesn't come easy either. If anyone has pointers on any of this please let me know.

Random comment

So this is definitely a random comment... my daughter didn't have her shirt on (surprise, surprise, she hates clothes, especially socks). All of a sudden she threw her head back and turned it from side to side, letting her hair wave back and forth against her back...  Do you remember when our hair was long and how that used to feel? Wow, I haven't thought of that feeling in years. Random I know.  It's just weird the things you forget until you have kids.

Stuck

Have you ever noticed how hysterical and panicky children get when you pull their shirt off and it gets stuck for just a few seconds around their head? I don't know what they think is going to happen...do they think they will be stuck like that forever? Do they think their heads are going to come off too? Do they think they will never stare at anything again but cotton? I don't know, but as many times as it happens, they still react in the same way. I guess if I had something stuck around my head I might feel the same?

Oh, and that goes for arms and hands too...you know, when they pull their arms through but it gets stuck at the bottom because the shirt is all bunched up after being taken off inside-out and then washed...

Law of Sleep and Children

WHAT IS IT ABOUT SLEEP AND CHILDREN??? WHY IS IT THAT WHEN WE WANT TO SLEEP IN, OUR CHILDREN WAKE UP EARLY and WHEN WE WAKE UP EARLY, OUR CHILDREN SLEEP IN??? If anyone knows the solution to this please let me know. I'd be most grateful.

Phone calls and Children

Phone calls and children...they just don't seem to be able to work together.

Just right...

Ever wondered why in Goldilocks and the Three Bears the papa and mama bears' porridge was too hot or too cold, never just right? I think I might know why now...

After microwaving my soup three times -trying to get it the right temp- I finally got it just right...but then my daughter decided it was time for her to tell me she didn't want the lunch I gave her and she wanted peaches instead. So up I go (I know, I know) and by the time I got back my soup was just lukewarm again.

Forget it, I'm eating it like it is, it's not worth it. Maybe someday when I'm seventy I'll have soup that's just right, but probably by then I won't have any taste buds anyways.

A Promise

The other day my three year old daughter was embarrassed about something and told me to promise that I wouldn't tell the friends we were on a playdate with. I really wanted to tell to, because it was funny and my friend would totally understand and we'd get a good laugh. But I had to catch myself because I realized that now, even at the age of three, is when I have to start keeping my promises.

Because now, at the age of three, I am being watched.

I am being looked at to keep a promise.

And if I don't keep it and tell what I promised not to, what is that showing her...about me, about her...

What am I gaining by telling? What am I losing?

It seems so harmless but when you think about it, there really is so much at stake.

Listening

You'd think our children would learn to listen...

I tell my daughter not to do something, she does it.
She gets hurt, she cries, she comes to me to comfort her.
She does it all over again the next day.

Ahem, when do our children learn to listen to us?
When do they make the connection in their brains that mom or dad
are telling me this because they don't want me to get hurt...not because they don't want me to have fun???

Ever?

But then I think of myself, my adult self...and know the answer.

I'd really hate to be God and have to put up with billions of people doing this.

Bolt

A child takes off in a department store...in the women's clothing area with all the racks and obstacles that impair vision...is there anything in those five seconds of unknown that can scare and infuriate a parent more? Yesterday my daughter was right by my side than all of a sudden decided to bolt...even though I ran out right after her, I couldn't see her anywhere and she wasn't acknowledging my calls. It would be an understatement to say that I felt fear. A million thoughts and images ran through my mind in those few short moments. I thought I was going to start crying uncontrollably right then and there. Then I see a little body come flying my way. Now I felt anger. It's amazing how quickly the fear can turn to anger...although maybe it is still one and the same...I picked her up and louder than I've ever spoken in a department store told her to "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! EVER!!" It took a while to calm down my beating heart...it's a good thing this doesn't happen very often, not sure how much a parent's heart could handle.